An overdramatic goodbye.
It’s not long ago that I celebrated the fact that I had been putting thoughts feelings and stories online for about three years. And I remember hoping for many more years to come.
But things have changed since three years ago. Three years ago, my blog-page was a place where I’d release my thoughts and feelings. There where it was safe to out them. In a place where I knew it wouldn’t come back to bite me in the ass, or just to confront me. Any thought I had , that I felt I couldn’t share with others, I’d put them in my stories and share them, anonymously. I can’t do that anymore. Nowadays my blog is read by actual people who I actually know and who are close to me. In a way it feels good ‘cause I share with them the things that bother me without having to tell them in person, but on the other hand, I usually get really uncomfortable when they later confront me with what I’ve written.
Because of that I figured that if I don’t want t o be confronted with what I write by people who stand close to me, I can just as well write it down somewhere else, where nobody can read it. Where , like I apparently seem to want it , my thoughts stay my own, unless I choose otherwise.
I could choose to just not write about myself, or about things that are “personal”. But I know that, considering the fact that I’m a drama-queen, that’ll eventually lead to the demise of my blog because 95% of what I write is personal.
Maybe in the future I’ll open up some other blog, maybe I won’t , maybe I’ll just write a journal.
I know it’s basically a step back, back into my shell, back into a world with high walls back into a place where I don’t share me. But for now.. it just feels like the right thing to do, even though I sometimes still itch to drop something online…And who knows, maybe that’ll happen sometime…bye.
