Life lesson for you

Dear ladies and gentleman,

If you get rejected, don’t think it’s because of you, he or she just thinks you’re ugly, and that’s hardly your fault, right? I mean , DNA can be a bitch, Herman can attest to that!

We’re given what we’re given, and we have to make it work. Unless of course you hit the jackpot and get the chance to transplant your face. Or you run in to a blind person.

For a lucky few that might just happen…Probably not though. In that case you can always calm yourself with the idea that there are others like you. People who are just as ugly, and just as “kick-ass-DNA- deprived” as you are. And I guess at least one of them will have to be able to not throw up at the mere sight of you, because well, they’re ugly too, right?

So just relax and enjoy your rejected ass. And if you do decide to just give up the hunt for a soul mate all together, just know that there will always be readers digests and Sudoku puzzles to keep you entertained until the very day you die!!

Peace.

Smiles and Jellybeans

I walk up the stairs and hear an announcement:
“Due to a technical malfunction the intercity to Rotterdam will not be leaving for another half hour, we apologize for the inconvenience.”
I frown and try to find the chocolaty goodness I’ve got stashed away in the deep and dark bottoms of my bag. No luck. I must have lost it running to catch my train, which now Ironically enough isn’t leaving for another half hour.

I frown again and harder this time while I cross my arms. I look around a little, still frowning and scratching my nose, and this little kid catches my eye, or I catch his really.
With one hand holding a bag of jellybeans, and with the other putting a jellybean in his mouth he looks at me. With his eyes wide open he stares while he’s eating his jellybeans. The mere sight of his big, brown, sparkling eyes staring at me the way he is , makes me turn my frown up side down. I smile and in response, so does he.

He looks at his mom who’s been looking at him, as if to ask, is it ok if I approach her, mommy?
Without waiting for an actual response the little fellow hops over to me with a big smile on his face and with eyes that are smiling even more:
“You want a jellybean?? You can have some if you like”, he says in a way only small children can. I squat down and open my hand to receive my jellybeans.
“There you go”, he says. I smile and thank him with a pat on the head. And then he returns to his mommy.

That little brown sparkly eyed kid made me smile and I’ve been smiling ever since…

Speech

I’ve prepared my speech. And honestly, I don’t know if I wrote as yet another strategy to win the battle, or if I wrote it as actual closure, but right now in my head, it’s a closure speech.

It’s a good one, if I can say so myself. Every last detail figured out. Which words I’ll use, when I’ll pause, the points I’ll make and the way my face will seem unaffected and completely at peace each time I make them.

It’s a speech that shows me the way I usually want to be seen: Together, at peace rational and independent. Things I hardly ever am, when put on the spot. That’s why I’ve prepared myself, just in case I ever feel like I need to actually share my brilliant speech with you. To ease your mind and to ease mine.

Get ready, because if I do decide to share it, I’ll blow you away.

Settling…

Don’t settle for less. We often appoint ourselves much less than we deserve, because somehow we’ve decided we don’t deserve much more than that. We choose to settle for being treated badly or just plain wrong, we choose to settle for what meagre freedom we are given, we choose to settle for the people we are surrounded by and we choose to settle for the lives we are pushed into living. We settle for a lot, we settle for too much.

I say, stop settling for less. Start reaching for the stars. So next time you feel like or find yourself settling, just grab your nuts (and if you’re a girl your boobies) and say:

Settle this!!!

That’s when I knew.

I was hoping it’d be you, I was hoping you’d call. And when my phone rang, my heart skipped a beat, and this little tiny rush went through my body…
I was hoping it was you.

*

Judgement

I pretend not to be presumptuous. To be open minded, to consider all sides to each matter.
I pretend not to judge other people for not looking at things in that same way.
I pretend that it’s a well thought through choice to still hang out with people even though some or a lot of their values differ from mine.
I pretend to be some goddamn saint, welcoming in everybody who wants in, and always being there to flip the coin for others, so they can see the other side.

I pretend not to judge, not to label, not to feel superior to others…

But maybe, me feeling sorry for other people who don’t think like me, is presumptuous, judgemental, a sign of my own weakness to make a good choice and stick by it, and proof of how unholy I actually am.

Maybe I do just feel superior to others because I’m what you’d call enlightened?? Sure I come up with quotes the dalai lama would envy, but I’m so aware of it it’s ugly and it takes away the value of the things I say.

I’m not a saint, I don’t know it all, I don’t have all the answers and I DO judge people.

I’m an ordinary person, just like the rest.

Never-ending love and a window to your soul

Every part of you is a mystery to me. Every inch of your body, a riddle I can’t wait to solve, a maze I can’t wait to find my way through.
Intrigued doesn’t describe what I am about you, it only covers a part of it.

Around you I’m never bored, perhaps without visible activity, but never bored. I can sit next to you and not say a word, just studying you and every word you utter. The way your lips and your eyes move when you say them, the way your eyes occasionally sparkle when you talk about certain topics. The way your cheeks slowly move to the rhythm of your mouth and words. And that’s just the beginning.

When somebody asks what I did today and I say I hung out it with you, they ask me if that’s all I did. But they don’t know that hanging out with you means so many things. It takes up all the energy I have, to try to grasp you completely and to not create an image of you that sells you, or any part of you short. There aren’t enough hours in a day to do what your presence makes me do. It’s like, it takes me over, it drenches me in attention and intrigue for you.

* just a little something I wrote a long tome ago