I should’ve asked you and you should’ve told me…

“Hey girl”, he said with his semi-low voice.
“Yes”, I replied. I turned around and looked at him. “wassup?”
He looked at me, he paused, and then he said:”No nevermind, I was gonna say something, but on second thought, I’ll just not say anything.”

I turned around like I didn’t really care whether he told or asked me what he wanted to tell or ask me. But really all kinds of things popped into my head which made me wanna know:
“Yeah you know, when you say you’re fat? And I say you’re not? I was wrong and you’re right, you are fat. And you can really tell from this angle.”

When that thought crossed my mind I took a few steps away from him and I started putting on my black jacket. And as I was buttoning it up another thought crossed my mind:
“Come a little closer, a little closer, just a tad bit closer…yeah you’re right, you are extremely hairy and I guess you do have more facial hair then your average 16 year old boy.”

A chill ran down my spine… I hated you for not saying what you wanted to say, and making me feel this insecure, But really I hated myself for letting myself get all ‘insecure-16-year-old-girl’ on my self.

If all these people weren’t here to witness our conversation I would have pressed you and pushed you to tell me what was on your mind. I would have forced you to say what you wanted. But those people were there, and so I didn’t.

And no I’m going to keep wondering whether it would have been something I’d like to hear, or not. I should have asked…Then I wouldn’t have to wonder, then I’d know..