I can’t imagine never having you, but part of me does.

I was completely taken by surprise and overwhelmed with the flow of emotions that came over me today, with the thought.

It scares me, it makes me sad, but it also made me realize that I see you as the gift you are, and that I welcome you with open arms, at any moment, at any time in life.

Would I expect it to be all sunshine and butterflies? Easy? No, definitely not, I think it would be hard and difficult. I think it would take more energy out of me then I could now ever imagine, or that I have ever had to give in my entire life. Of that I’m sure.

Truthfully, I know I have no legit reason to assume that I will never have you, but it’s my biggest fear.

I’ll keep you in my heart and my mind, and pray to whatever it is I should pray to that my fears are completely unjust.



X.